Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Attempting to Pause

Life has been very hectic lately. I feel like I'm juggling two jobs. Projects are colliding and prioritizing has become second nature out of necessity. No time for the low hanging fruit. I've declined meetings and rescheduled. My time has become very valuable, which should not be a surprise, but it is. At least people realize it and only seek me out if they absolutely need to interrupt.

I've been trying to make time for music on the weekends, but it's hard. Saturday becomes a day for relaxation just to recuperate from the week. I clean house, cuddle with the cats, tend to my little garden and BREATHE. Sunday I do some errands, venture out to the farmer's market, and if I'm feeling adventurous I'll drive somewhere pretty like Griffith Park Observatory or Malibu...

Driving is calming. I play my tunes and sing along. I put the windows down and let the cool breeze in. The wind in my hair feels amazing and reminds me why I love California.

Today's song discovery is Joey Fehrenbach's "Behold." Came across it on my Pandora station for Massive Attack.

I met a new cat today, Missy. My friend is out of town, and Missy needed company. She's a very affectionate kitty. :) Spent some time watching Bones while petting her.

Today, someone I care for deeply told me I am beautiful. Kind words I will hold dear in their platonic nature. I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Happy Sunday

I was cleaning house and randomly came across a memento coaster from Chicken Shop, London. Jen and I had the hardest time finding this place in Hampstead. We followed GoogleMaps to the spot where it should be, looked around, but it was nowhere in sight! Then I turned around and saw a tiny sign on a door. Turns out, the spot was hidden in the basement of a building. :) The food was amazing. You know a place is good when they only serve a short list of items. In this case, it was chicken and your choice of 4 sides. They had some yummy local beer and lemon meringue for dessert. NOM NOM NOM!

In other news, Jeff has nailed down the guitar for this song, but do I dare perform it?

Spent Saturday at Malibu, played some frisbee, swam in the ocean. I really need to learn how to duck under those waves right! At least my sinuses are all clear now. :P

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Beach Day

My younger brother Dan and his girlfriend Taylor are in town from SF. Today we went to Malibu with Mar. Had a picnic of Pinoy eats on the beach after jumping over waves. It felt so good to be together. Went to the Getty Villa, then met up with Carly for cake at Sweet Lady Jane. :) All in all it was a great day.

I have some great beach memories. Got rained on in West Palm beach. Celebrated my birthday in Fort Lauderdale. Rode along the coast in Big Sur. Laid on the sand in Daytona, when a wave crept up on us and we got drenched. Changed in a car in a parking lot. When I let myself remember, I can still cherish the good times. They are worth remembering.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Unfinished Symphony - Massive Attack

Now that Jeff has moved back to LA, we are planning to perform some songs. We've found that Massive Attack covers are a great fit for both our tastes and my voice (not the one above, but others like Teardrop and Black Milk). :)

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Dreams, Johnny Cash, and the Keeper

I've always looked at dreams as a means for the subconscience to bring to light things we dare not contemplate. This past month, I have had two dreams that were lucid and stuck with me after I awoke.

Dream 1: The medium sized white building covered in bougainvilleas. Light, bright, with two buildings connected on the second floor by a bridge. In each side of the 2nd floor lived two older ladies. They were good friends and often visited each other to chat. The first floor was a cafe with large windows and vines growing on the inner wall. In the dream, I lived across the street but longed to live there.

I think this dream was my way of telling myself that living alone is something I could very well enjoy long term. There is a calmness that surrounds it. I am OK being alone instead of settling for the wrong person.

Dream 2: My long term ex and I were in contact, and he told me that he had married an Icelandic woman and was living in Europe. She was 6 months pregnant, a visual artist like him, who embraced all aspects of him as a person. They lived in the countryside, surrounded by trees. It wasn't clear if he was still getting his degree or not, but he seemed happy, which made me happy.

Though there was much love and passion between us historically, we just weren't on the same page. Love is not enough to make relationships work...

I was disappointed to wake up to realize it was just a dream. I do long for closure someday, if his anger ever subsides for me leaving him. I feel that if he moved on and could be happy again, perhaps he would forgive me.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Sia

She has such pretty songs.